Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
