Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
