I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
