I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just forgot I was standing up.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
