i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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