it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
