You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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