We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
