Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
