You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
