God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
