Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
