With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
