5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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