the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
