how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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