brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
