There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
