It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
