I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
