kristin has been a bad kristin
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
