My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
