There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
