Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
