dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
