She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I understand Curling. That high.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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