You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
he had hair everywhere except his balls
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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