I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
