She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
