problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
