ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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