Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
