i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
