I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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