Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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