Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
