did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
