Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
