You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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