Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
