me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
