i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
