I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
