i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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