Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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