Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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