So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
