not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
