Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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