Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
