I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
