You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
