I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
